Belonging

Winnipeg Folk Festival

The other day Phil and I spent the evening at the Winnipeg Folk Festival.  For those of you not from the prairies, the Winnipeg Folk Festival is an annual event, that features a variety of folk music artists from around the world as well as local artists performing in front of an outdoor audience of tens of thousands.  It was my first time and I loved it!  

Alex with the cousins

It was evident that I didn’t share all of the same values and lifestyle with many in the audience, but the focus was not on our differences but the great music, the people we were with (in our case Phil’s younger brother and his family) and the magic that is part of a beautiful summer evening.

I’ve often wondered what it means to belong. Have I ever belonged somewhere?

I grew up as an American kid in France. I married Phil, a Canadian who grew up in 

Celebrating Germany's World Cup win!!!

Germany, we fell in love in Switzerland, got married in the US and together had 3 children in a beautiful mountain village in the Alps of Austria.  With an international, mixed up background like the one we have, is it even possible to belong?

                

Rollkuchen & Watermelon 

So this year, living in Steinbach, Manitoba, a mostly Mennonite community where if your last name is either Penner, Wiebe, Epp, Friesen, Reimer, Loewen, …..or Peters, you are definitely connected and belong,  has been very different. This state of belonging is new for me. The “third-culture-kid” side of me might tend to feel boxed in by this, but there is a side of me that finds comfort in it, and enjoys all that comes with that “being a part of”: things like family reunions, eating wareneki and farmer sausage, or rollkuchen and watermelon on a hot summer day. Or feeling like you are related to almost everybody and going to a church, which emphasizes loving Jesus, others and living a life of simplicity and peace.

The contrast of the strong connectivity of belonging to a cultural heritage and the “free, everything goes” of an evening at the Folk Festival pretty much sums up how I have experienced this year in Canada. 

The large, open expanse of the prairies, with the population density of 2 people/sq.km  seems to welcome a diverse group of people with a free “come as you are, you are welcome here” spirit .  On the other hand, the close, strong relationship you can have with your “heritage group” gives you a feeling of balance and a place to anchor yourself, so as to not get lost in these endless prairies.

A farewell gift from the church "mission sisters"

Thank you to all those this year who have let us come as we are….we are a “strange breed”; our mixed up Euro/Can/US background, the choice to live a life based on our faith in God, and  being spokes-people for the work we feel called to do may have felt like an imposition to some of you at times. We’re sorry if this is the case.  We have been truly enriched and blessed by you.  Thank you for your acceptance, time, listening ear and your actions that many times have spoken much louder than words (just got a phone call from someone wanting to drop off some pizza for tonight’s supper). We hope that in connecting with you we have encouraged you along your road as we also have been encouraged by you. We truly have enjoyed belonging.

Beauty out of Brokenness

There is hardly a day that goes by that I am not confronted with the brokenness of this world.

Families living off the garbage dumps in Zimbabwe

I sat with Phil in a Michael Bublé concert the other night and found I had tears running down my face as I listened to the opening band sing a remake of the song “Fix You” by Cold Play. That is so what my heart wants to do with the pain in this world, just fix it! As I sat there and listened to that moving song, pictures and thoughts flew through my head of pain, misery, despair….. the memory of an Aboriginal man sleeping in his own urine under a street bench in downtown Winnipeg… 

so many children!!

remembering what Phil shared about 600 families living off a garbage dump in Zimbabwe, drinking its run-off water, with no options of education for their children…. the 10-year-old girl who didn’t show up for her Open Schools literacy lesson because she had to “work” so that she could eat that day…

 yesterday Michael sending us a picture in a text message of his “soccer boys” who live in the favela of Sao Paulo, happy smiling faces, but crying out for someone to notice them.

Michael and his futbol boys in Brazil

It’s everywhere, and what overwhelms and discourages me is the feeling of not having solutions, or feeling like the solutions that may exist will rarely make a difference.

Maybe believing that we might have solutions is a mistake. How often have I asked my husband not to try to fix my problem, but simply to listen and to walk along side me.

Can I believe that the path out of some broken, disregarded, cracked lives is maybe not a quick fix, but a re-directing, a new departure point on a journey. 

When I took a wrong turn on my way to pick up Phil from the Winnipeg airport last week I’m so glad the GPS didn’t tell me “You idiot, that’s it, your finished, I give up on you.”  No, the screen goes blank, and after a couple of seconds I can read a hopeful …“recalculating”.  Then it picks up my location and shows me a new route. 

Maybe the best we can do is help our neighbor with some “recalculating” on the GPS of their life, or better yet, walk along side them on the journey: writing that letter, making that phone call, volunteering in that center, fighting for the poor, or writing that check.

I went to the Thrift Store a week ago and picked up these discarded old jars.  Who knows how long they had been sitting there. They were definitely nothing special to look at.

Thrift Store finds...

One of the many thrift stores here in Manitoba

 A good friend of mine, who has an eye to see the potential for beauty in things that I wouldn’t, had an idea. We took them, painted them with 6 different coats of paint, then started sanding them down. 

My thrift store finds!

Jars "in process" 

The end product!

Wow… with a little work and attention each one started looking different, each beautiful in its own “vintage” way, and eventually each with a different purpose: a vase, a candle holder, a display, a container…. and it was a ton of fun!

Cracks..

The sun breaking through the clouds on my run yesterday

My hearts desire is that we would be moved but not discouraged by all the cracks we see in the world.  As my brother-in-law reminded me yesterday:

“There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen.

The beautiful children of South Africa learning to read

 I believe in a God that has an unbelievable love for discarded, broken jars, street kids in the favelas of Brazil, the disregarded children living on the garbage dumps of Zimbabwe, the homeless neighbors in our cities…. us.  It is what he gave his life for.

What can ultimately be more beautiful and powerful than the eyes of a father seeing through the brokenness in his children to their true beauty.

Yeah a goal!!

 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Cor 4:7

Breathing in...

    I attended a conference a couple of weeks ago and someone encouraged me to take time to "breathe in". 
 As a runner, my thoughts go straight the sound and sensation of breathing in; the way your lungs crave air on a long uphill stretch or when you pick up your pace at the end of a run. Or, as a singer I think of taking a quick, deep breath, expanding the diaphragm to let all the air you can get pour in.  In both these cases breathing in is something intense, refreshing, energizing and with the purpose of keeping the movement and purpose going.

Enjoying  rest after a nice morning run

I've reflected a little bit on "breathing in and what it means to me... 
It is not stationary, but it is also not active. It is a kind of re-tanking, but not in a stand still kind of way.  Breathing in is intensional and at the same time completely natural.  It always meets a need. Sometimes, if the situation is so desperate, it can hurts when it is taken in. It can also cause one to be aware of what is going on inside of them.

Breathing  causes me to expand, to take in what is already there: air, nature, others, beauty, pleasures to be experienced and moments waiting to be shared.

Alex's fuzzy friend

We experienced some "breathing in" moments this week end with good friends on the lovely prairie country side near Brandon..

Time spent together with good friends ( Tammy, Amanda.. and Lucy)

Watching a soccer world cup game!! 

The evenings dangerous chefs!

Preparing supper with friends

Frying...

Breathing..

Chopping...

Norman and Amanda our wonderful hosts!

Lots and lots of time around a plentiful table

Lara's Chocolate Moltons

Enjoying a quiet moment

Living in the Moment

Our year on the prairies is quickly coming to an end. Friends we meet are starting to ask, “How much longer are you here?  When do you return to Europe?” Our answer is a reminder to us of how little time is left.

When I take time to reflect on this year of life on the prairies, these are some phrases that come to mind:

Lots of travels, busy, new opportunities, the coldest winter in 120 years, lots of new friends, a long winter, Mennonite and Canadian heritage, enjoying my kids, Canadian generosity, a growing burden for those in need, no spring, not enough time to spend time with every one…

If I had to tell you what my favorite moments were, moments that made my heart and soul glad, it would definitely not be the times I finished my to-do lists, or rushed from one “important” meeting or event to another, or even days I felt that I accomplished a lot.  It would clearly be the time and space I took to “be” and live in the moment, the moments I took “breathing in” what I was doing, taking in what was around me, and the people I was with.

Moments such as the following:

Just this morning….  sitting in my “princess chair”, before everyone else is up, starting my day off with my Heavenly Father, taking in the unconditional love He continually pours out on my life. Bowing and submitting to His purpose and His plan, which might seem like a bumpy road, but knowing that He is right there on the road with me.

Making scones with my friend Valrae for our open house

Special friends: usually it is just “being with them”. Baking, planting, painting, crocheting, singing, running, celebrating, eating, singing, planning, strategizing, dreaming…. I have been amazed this year at how much I have been blessed with good friends …friends with whom I can just be myself.

Times like yesterday at the Open House we had here in Steinbach, listening to my husband, this man I love, share his passion and burden for the far too many 
marginalized and desperate children in the world and the role we can play to help make a difference.

Our crazy teenager!

Lots of evenings spent with our teenager Alex, talking, listening, encouraging as he navigates his way through transitions with lots of life questions, or watching him perform one of his dances and seeing his face light up with joy.

Digging my fingers and feet in this rich Canadian soil while planting flowers and tomato plants….

I wonder how many of these moments I miss … how many you miss. They are there all around us, waiting to be “breathed in”, to be noticed.  

It is those moments that we live life at its fullest, that we give meaning to the person we are made to be, that we connect with ourselves, others, and our Maker. I don’t want to miss those moments. 

Maybe it is the width and vastness of the prairie skies, that pulls me in to want to stop and look for the little things, the beauty in the here and now, the moments that might tend to get lost in the never ending horizon of the prairies…